Department of Family Ministries

The Department of Family Ministries exists to support and strengthen family life. Programs and resources are offered with the aim of raising the awareness of the sacredness of family life and firmly establishing a Family Perspective throughout the diocese.

Troy S. Casteel, M.S., L.P.C. Director

e-mail: tcasteel@diocspfdcape.org

Carole Wheeler, Secretary

e-mail: cwheeler@diocspfdcape.org

Phone: 417-866-0841

Fax: 417-866-1140

The Department of Family Ministries provides and/or supports the following programs:

Diocesan Marriage Preparation Programs:

Sessions are held regionally. Pastor completes a Marriage Preparation Form sending it with the $25 fee to the Department of Family Ministries who will contact the couple about arrangements.

Couples attend the appropriate sessions:

First-time marriage - A five-session program as well as a one-day seminar known as Two Become One are available. (An additional $25 fee is charged for the Two Become One option.)

Re-marriage - This is an all day seminar, held quarterly in Springfield and Cape Girardeau. The fee is $25.00

Pre-nuptial investigation forms should accompany any request for dispensations for mixed religion. All parts of the form should be completed. The dispensation should be imprinted with the parish seal, dated and should give the reasons for the request for the dispensation. The dispensation is only valid for three months.

The following materials are available from the Family Ministries Office:

Common Marriage Policy for the State of Missouri

Prepared by the Family Life Directors of Missouri through the Missouri Catholic Conference.

A 12 page booklet approved by the bishops of Missouri, revised, 1993.

Includes:

Role of Pastor
Role of Engaged Couples
Assessment Process
Formal Preparation Programs for Marriage
Special Circumstances
Specific Policies for each Missouri Diocese

Preparing for Marriage in the Diocese of Springfield-Cape Girardeau

Prepared and distributed free by the Family Ministries Office.

A one-page flyer directed to the engaged couple.

Includes:

Statement about Marriage in the Church
Graphic Outlining the Steps in the Marriage Policy
Diocesan Marriage Policy Including Special Circumstances
Note from Bishop John Leibrecht

FOCCUS - Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding & Study

The approved assessment distributed free by the Family Ministries Office.

A Counselors Manual is available upon request.

Scoring of a Completed FOCCUS is $3.00 per couple.


Wedding Guidelines

Prepared by the Office of Worship and presented to the engaged couples from their parish.

A 14 page booklet approved by Bishop John Leibrecht, June 30, 1993.

Includes:

Description of a Catholic wedding with guidelines for planning the liturgy
People in the Wedding
Decorations and Environment
Music
Photography
Programs
Diocesan Regulations

Diocesan Marriage Preparation Policy for
the Diocese of Springfield-Cape Girardeau

The couple is to contact their pastor at least six (6) months prior to the desired date of the wedding. The assessment process required for every couple includes:

Administering and sharing the results of the approved assessment inventory.
Work with the pastor on any "special circumstances" that need to be dealt with.

Catholic/Non-Catholic Marriage - Since unity in religious belief is a major source of strength in marriage, the Catholic Church encourages Catholics to marry Catholics. In those instances where the parties are of different faith backgrounds, the Catholic party must request written permission from the bishop to marry in the Church. Special sessions to acquaint or update the couple's understanding of Catholic beliefs and practices will be provided.

2) Marriage Under Age 19 - When either of the parties is under the age of 19 at the time they make their intention to marry known to the pastor, the decision to proceed may be given by the pastor only after consultation with the parents or guardians is accomplished and the approved diocesan evaluation is completed.

3) Pregnancy - Pregnancy does not constitute an exception to this common policy for Marriage Preparation. The primary concern must be to evaluate the couple's readiness for marriage exclusive of the pregnancy.

If the couple made the decision to marry, i.e., were engaged prior to the pregnancy, plans for the wedding may be made if the pastor, in consultation with the parents of both parties, assesses the couple as sufficiently prepared for marriage and after all applicable steps of the policy are completed.

If the decision to marry was not made prior to the pregnancy, the pastor must seek additional input from an approved diocesan consultant. In this case, the pastor and parents should strongly encourage the consideration of a delay of the wedding until after the birth of the child.

Participation in the approved Diocesan Marriage Preparation Program. Separate programs are provided for first marriages, validations and marriages in which one or both of the parties have been previously married.

Together the couple should review with the pastor the entire assessment process.

The couple should set the wedding date and begin their preparation for the wedding ceremony.

No exceptions will be made without the permission of the bishop.

Role of the Pastor

The pastor has serious moral and ministerial responsibilities for all marriages that take place within his parish. As representative of God and delegate of the Church, he is to consider if the essential elements are present for a valid Christian marriage.

Role of the Engaged Couple

Couples desiring to be married in the community of the Church are to notify the pastor in person as soon as they have the intention to marry. They also must be willing to take an active part in all the steps of the policy which apply to them. The date of their wedding shall be set only after they have completed the assessment process.

Assessment Process

The assessment process begins with the pastor. During the assessment process he, along with the couple, shall review and evaluate the couple's understanding of the Catholic faith, especially the sacrament of marriage, as well as their ability to enter into the kind of relationship required for a life-long marriage.

At the conclusion of the assessment process, a decision is made either to proceed or delay. If the decision is to proceed, the wedding date is set and preparations can continue. If the decision is to delay, the reasons should be clearly explained to the couple. In those cases where the couple and/or the pastor has decided that the celebration of matrimony should be delayed, the pastor should offer his assistance to help the couple overcome the obstacles to their readiness for marriage.

Common obstacles to readiness for marriage:

1. Non-practice of the Catholic faith by the Catholic party or parties with no evidence of a true intention of renewal.

2. Lack of freedom, maturity or readiness for marriage.

3. Substantial lack of appreciation for the spiritual and sacramental aspects of marriage.

4. An expressed intention by either of the parties to deny the other's right to a permanent and exclusive union and/or the procreation and education of children.

5. Canonical impediments (until dispensed). If no dispensation is possible, the wedding cannot take place.

6. Apparent indifference by the Catholic party, or disdain by either party for Catholic formation of children.

7. Refusal to cooperate with the marriage preparation policy.

If the marriage is delayed, the couple may have recourse to the bishop or his delegate who can review the case and recommend further consideration. Final determination rests with the bishop. The approval of the bishop is required for a pastor to proceed with a marriage after the marriage has been delayed by another pastor.

Exceptions to this policy and its procedures are solely at the discretion of the local bishop.

Marriage Preparation/Engaged Couple Procedures

1. The Engaged Couple visit their pastor with intention to marry.

2. The Pastor fills out the Marriage Preparation form and sends it to the Department of Family Ministries along with the $25.00 program fee. Computerized scoring of the FOCCUS is available for a $3.00 fee. The Department of Family Ministries scores the FOCCUS and sends the completed form and the computer printout back to the pastor.

3. The Department of Family Ministries sends a copy of the Marriage Preparation Form to the Marriage Preparation Coordinator.

4. The Department of Family Ministries mails a letter to the engaged couple to let them know that we have received their form from their pastor.

5. The Marriage Preparation Coordinator calls the Lead Couple and sets up a schedule for classes.

6. The Marriage Preparation Coordinator notifies the Engaged Couple of the time, date, place of their classes and sends a copy of the Group Form to the Department of Family Ministries.

7. The Marriage Preparation Coordinator notifies the pastor that the engaged couple has been placed into a group, giving him the name, address and phone number of the Lead Couple, as well as the dates and time for the sessions.

8. The Department of Family Ministries mails a letter to each engaged couple with the name, address, dates, and time of their sessions.

9. The Department of Family Ministries and/or Marriage Preparation Coordinator delivers engaged couple packets, copies of the Marriage Preparation Form and class schedule to the Lead Couple.

10. The Lead Couple then contacts each engaged couple that has been placed in their group by telephone or postcard and gives directions to their home.

11. The Lead Couple holds 5 sessions in their home. When they have completed these sessions they send all completed paperwork (Group Form, Lead Couple Evaluation, Engaged Couple Evaluation and completed Certificate) back to the Department of Family Ministries. If any couple does not attend the scheduled class or drops-out or if another couple is added to the session please notify the Marriage Preparation Coordinator and the Department of Family Ministries.

12. The Department of Family Ministries mails the completed certificate to the pastor along with the Lead Couple Evaluation Form.

13. Upon completion of the Marriage Preparation process and assessment period the priest and engaged couple together decide whether to proceed with or delay the wedding.

DIOCESE OF SPRINGFIELD-CAPE GIRARDEAU
MARRIAGE PREPARATION FORM

Date __________

Ck# ___________

Letter Sent______

Coordinator_____

(For Office Use)

Date of Initial Meeting With Priest __________________________

Priest Arranging Wedding______________________________

Priest Witnessing the Wedding (if different from above)__________________

Parish & City where the Wedding will take place____________________

Proposed Wedding Date_______________________________

(Six Month Preparation Period)

Is 1st or 2nd Marriage Preparation more appropriate for this couple? 1st _________ 2nd _________

Groom____________________

Address ___________________

City __________ Zip _________

Phone: (h)________ (w)_________

Age _____ Religion ___________

Parish/Church Affiliation ___________

Is Groom a student and will be moving soon? _______

(date)

Bride______________________

Address _____________________

City ___________ Zip __________

Phone: (h)_________ (w)__________

Age _____ Religion _____________

Parish/Church Affiliation _____________

Is Bride a student and will be moving soon? ________

(date)

Does either person have children?

Groom: Yes _____ No _____ Bride: Yes _____ No _____

Please list names and ages of children: _______________ _______________

Please list the times and places each person can be reached by telephone:

Groom __________________ Bride ____________________

Please list preferred times for Marriage Preparation Sessions: (Subject to available Lead Couples)

____________________ ____________________

____________________ ____________________

Please complete other side for Second Marriage and/or Validation.
Please mail this form to the Department of Family Ministries along with the $25.00 program fee.

601 S. Jefferson Avenue, Springfield, MO 65806-3143
417-866-0841 Fax 417-866-1140
SECOND MARRIAGE AND/OR VALIDATION INFORMATION

Which person has been married before?

Groom G

Bride G

Neither G (Applies to validation of Civil Marriage)

How Many Times? _________

What was the duration of the Bonds? Groom _____ Bride ______

Is this a Validation of a Civil Marriage? Yes _______ No _______

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

THE REST OF THIS FORM IS TO BE COMPLETED BY THE PRIEST.

Please write a brief marital history of each person if necessary for clarification. Include number

of marriages, annulments, any extenuating circumstances.

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

___________________________________________

Please contact the Department of Family Ministries for
the date of the next scheduled Second Marriage Preparation Program.

Re-Marriage Seminar

Seminars are held quarterly in Springfield for Regions 1-5 in the Pallotti Center, located at the Catholic Center, 601 S Jefferson Avenue, Springfield, MO and in Cape Girardeau at St Vincent de Paul Parish, 741 N Forest Avenue, Cape Girardeau, MO for Regions 6-9 on designated Saturdays from 9:30-4:00. Completion of this seminar will satisfy the Diocesan Marriage Preparation Guidelines.

Lead Couples

The Diocesan Marriage Preparation program for the diocese is made possible by the dedication of Lead Couples who hold 5 two hour sessions in their home for engaged couples.

Qualifications for Lead Couples

A couple that believes in marriage as a permanent and faithful relationship.
A couple that believes that God and Church are important to a successful marriage.
A couple that is warm and inviting.
A couple that is willing and generous.
A couple that is non-judgmental and conversational rather than preachy.
A couple that is realistic, yet hopeful, with regard to the day-to-day living of marriage.
A couple that has the ability to listen well and reflect back, to encourage participation.
A couple that is open-minded and not harsh.
A couple that takes responsibility for what they say, think, and feel.
A couple who can convey that they are a companion with the engaged in their search for a happy and fulfilling marriage.
A couple that enjoys a healthy relationship.
A couple who is at least 5 years married.
A couple that is open to children in their marriage.
A couple who is willing to follow the approved program.

Hispanic Marriage Preparation

Materials are available for Spanish speaking engaged couples preparing for marriage in the diocese. The following materials are available from the Department of Family Ministries: Diocesan Marriage Preparation Form, Engaged Couples Workbook, Lead Couple Manual, FOCCUS Program Manual, Test Booklet and Answer Sheets. Computerized scoring and analysis are also available in Spanish and you may purchase the manual ...Y Seran Los Dos Uno Solo in Spanish from the Office of Family Life, 3424 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90010 - 213-637-7214.

Beginning Experience

Beginning Experience of Springfield offers a weekend program for divorced, widowed and separated persons held on an on-going basis to help them through the stages of grief in a compassionate, safe atmosphere. For information and registration please contact Cheryl Harris at 417-581-3992 or Joyce Peek at 417-865-0802.

Diocesan Wedding Anniversary Celebration

The Diocesan Wedding Anniversary Celebrations are held in the Fall at St. Mary=s Cathedral Parish in Cape Girardeau and St. Agnes Cathedral in Springfield. The celebrations include a Mass celebrated by Bishop John J. Leibrecht, followed by a reception in the parish hall. All married couples and their families are invited. A registration form is provided at the parishes.

Diocesan Council on Family Ministries

The Diocesan Council on Family Ministries was formed as an advisory council to the Director of Family Ministries. Each member volunteers to serve on the council for their region of the diocese.

Region 1

Jim & Marge Newton

2118 E. 35th St.

Joplin, MO 64804-4225



Region 2

Region 3

Rev. J. Patrick Wissman

Sacred Heart Parish

1405 West Fair Play Street

Bolivar, MO 65613-1303

417-326-5596

E-mail:

Region 4

Rev. Michael McDevitt

St Agnes Cathedral Parish

533 S. Jefferson Ave.

Springfield, MO 65806-3105

417-831-3565


Margaret Schatz

Diocesan NFP Coordinator

921 E. Lindberg St.

Springfield, MO 65807-2743

417-883-1911

Patty Straus

4691 S. Shady Lake Ct.

Springfield, MO 65810-1550

417-889-7168


Sharon Weidelman

Immaculate Conception Parish

3555 S. Fremont Ave.

Springfield, MO 65804-4237

417-887-0600

Rosie San Paolo

Voice for Life

1906 Lancaster

Springfield, MO 65807

417-883-0617


Region 5

Rev. Ernest J. Marquart

St. John Vianney Parish

363 Highway Y, P.O. Box 38

Mountain View, MO 65548-0038

417-934-2649

Region 6

Rev. Jim Unterreiner

Ste. Marie de Lac Parish

350 S. Main Street

Ironton, MO 63650-1407

573-546-2611

Region 7

Greg and Linda Illers

6569 Country Rd. 203

Cape Girardeau, MO 63701-8598

573-334-6342


Region 8

Jack& Pat Jackovic

121 B. Kate Drive, Apt B

Sikeston, MO 63801-4659

573-471-3513


Region 9

Sherry Lampe

2048 Highway 142

Poplar Bluff, MO 63901-7193

573-785-2103


Certified Teaching Couples:

John and Patty Straus

4691 S Shady Lake Ct.

Springfield, MO 65810

417-889-7168

Email: JPStraus@hotmail.com

James and Margaret Schatz

921 East Lindberg

Springfield, MO 65807

417-883-1911

Email: jwsmas@swbell.net


Ted and Angie Grieshop

2226 Green Ridge Ln.

Jackson, MO 63755-9260

573-243-9109



Jared and Kim Hotop

520 Grand Ave.

Perryville, MO 63775

573-547-3623


Certified Promoting Couples:

Bill and Kathy Watson

448 County Rd. 657

Cape Girardeau, MO 63701

573-334-8895


Larry and Amy Howdeshell

P.O. Box70

Cherryville, MO 65446

573-743-6519


John and Cheryl Hawks

Rt. 2 Box 265

Doniphan, MO 63935

573-996-2838

Project Rachel

Project Rachel is the post-abortion healing ministry of the Catholic Church. It was founded in 1984 in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee by Vicki Thorn. At this time, Project Rachel is in more than 110 diocese in the United States with more ministries forming. This diocesan based ministry is composed of a network of specially trained clergy, spiritual directors and therapists who provide compassionate one-on-one care to those who are struggling with the aftermath of abortion. Project Rachel is designed to provide confidential and skilled help to each individual who comes to the ministry. Project Rachel is an outreach of the Catholic Church, but it is open to anyone who is struggling after an abortion loss. It is able to help women and men; parents, grandparents, siblings, friends and other whose lives have been impacted by an abortion loss. "For additional information and resources, please email or contact: The National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing, Inc., PO Box 07477, Milwaukee, WI 53207-0477. National Referral Line: 1-800-5WE-CARE, Business Line: 1-414-483-4141, Fax - 414-483-7376, E-mail: noparh@juno.com, Website: National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation & Healing.

MOMS - Ministry of Mothers Sharing

WHAT IS MOMS?

Ministry of Mother's Sharing
An on-going eight session structured peer ministry
An opportunity to build community in one's parish and foster growing ministerial resource pool
An opportunity for mothers (primarily with young children) to develop new friendships and break out of solitude

WHAT TOPICS ARE COVERED IN THE EIGHT SESSIONS:

Self-esteem and self-acceptance
Stress, Worries, and Anxiety
Everyday Spirituality
Feelings
Personal Growth
Expressing your values in friendships
Celebration of New Beginnings (a dinner with guest speakers and parish leaders)
Discernment: Continuing the Journey

WHO IS MOMS FOR?

Primarily for Mothers with young children

WHO BENEFIT=S?

The Mothers, their families and the entire parish

WHAT RESOURCES ARE AVAILABLE?

Training from the Creators of M.O.M.S.
MOMS: A Personal Journal by Paula Hagen - $9.95
MOMS Facilitator's Guide by Paula Hagen, Vickie Jennett and Patricia Hoyt -$11.95
MOMS: Developing A Ministry by Paula Hagen and Patricia Hoyt - $19.95
A Prayer Companion for MOMS by Vickie Jennett and Paula Hagen

WHAT DOES MOMS COST?

Facilitator training is provided at no cost by the Director of Family Ministries.
Participants may pay fees from $20.00 - $25.00 per person depending on parish resources. No one is excluded from participation due to financial hardship.

WHAT STAFF ARE NEEDED?

A parish staff liaison (for- scheduling sessions, arranging childcare)
Core Team including:
Coordinator of MOMS
Coordinator of Marketing
Prayer Leader
Guardian Angel
Presenter
Coordinator, Celebration of New Beginnings
Coordinator of Resources
Coordinator of Childcare
A Facilitator or Two

Natural Family Planning

The Department of Family Ministries sponsors the NFP Center of the Ozarks located at 535 S. Jefferson Avenue, Springfield MO 65806. Margaret Schatz, Diocesan Natural Family Planning Coordinator, is a certified Natural Family Planning instructor in the Sympto-Thermal Method of Natural Family Planning. For information, contact the NFP Center at 417-882-5117 or by e-mail at jwsmas@swbell.net or locate them at www.ccli.org. There are certified teachers throughout the diocese available for complete courses in NFP. The course consists of a series of 4 class presentations or weekend workshops. Classes in fertility awareness, to learn how to achieve, postpone or space a pregnancy, are open to all married and engaged couples. Information is also provided to all engaged couples preparing for marriage in the diocese.