"By choosing Natural Family Planning, I am saying that I will take control of my sexuality and my body. I am not turning that responsibility over to a box of pills or a piece of plastic or jelly."

Why I Chose Natural Family Planning

My husband and I were married in August 1997. Prior to getting married, we discussed Natural Family Planning and decided to use it. The decision was fairly easy, even though following the plan isn’t always.

The first reason is that NFP is the only method of spacing children accepted by the Church. I, as a Roman Catholic, want to follow the rules and do the right thing. Dr. Janet Smith, a leading expert on the Church’s teaching against contraception, explains the Church’s teaching much better than I could. It boils down to this: contraception runs counter to the unitive and procreative aspects of sexual intercourse.

There were other reasons for my decision to use NFP that really have nothing to do with morals. Birth control pills scare me. Even my friends who seem not to be affected by the pill are affected in one way or another. Their bodies are controlled by artificial hormones – hormones that would normally be released only during pregnancy.

Basically, the pill "tricks" a woman’s body into thinking she is pregnant. I have been pregnant once. I have a beautiful son, and I wouldn’t give him up for the world. But, pregnancy was not fun! I am not sure when I will be ready to go through that horrible state of being again.

Granted, the pill does not put the weight of a child on your bladder so that you might as well work and sleep in the bathroom, but the pill does cause weight gain in many women. Gee, what a surprise since your body thinks it’s feeding two! Extra pounds are not what I need or want! As if the fatigue of pregnancy was not bad enough (sleeping for two, too). The worst part is not the physical ailments and nuisances, but the psychological roller coaster. I was very irritable most of the time during my pregnancy. Ask my husband. No matter how sweet one’s husband is, he will not be the one to comfort you. It is not his fault. How is he to understand something that only happens to women in the natural world?

I have some friends who are on the pill and tolerate these symptoms. I have other friends who have been on the pill but quit taking it because of discomfort or pain. The pill increases the chance of migraine headaches and the severity of headaches when they do occur. Of course as with any drug, allergic reactions are possible.

Doctors do not recommend the injectible form of the pill, such as Norplant of Depo Provera, until the oral form has been taken because they want to be sure there are no allergic reactions. If it is just a pill that is causing problems, one can stop taking it, but what about an injection? The pill affects the body for several days after it is taken. The effects of injections can persist for months.

The inflexibility of the pill and injections is another reason I don’t like them. Doctors recommend abstaining from the pill a matter of months before one even begins to try and become pregnant. In the case of injections, the recommendation is to abstain at least one full calendar year before attempting to conceive a baby. Why? Because birth defects could result otherwise! That’s rather frightening.

The inflexibility of these methods is a problem when considering a family. I want to plan a family not destroy my chances of ever having children. NFP is flexible. Very flexible. If my husband and I really wanted to conceive, we could attempt that right away. There is no waiting period.

So, if not the pill or injections, then what about the other artificial methods? The IUD (intrauterine device) did not appeal to me. Sticking a plastic and metal object in my uterus. No thank you.

What about barrier methods and spermicidal solutions and sponges? Spermicidal solutions sound irritating not to mention messy and ineffective at preventing pregnancy. Spermicides used alone are the least effective birth control method. Barrier methods like the condom and the diaphragm have their own problems. The diaphragm didn’t sound too bad, since it is a flexible plastic cap that does not enter the uterus, but hey why do I have to be the one to defend myself against HIS SPERM? Can’t he wear a condom? Sure he could as long as neither sexual partner has an allergy to latex.

One thing to mention about the barrier methods is the irony in the method and the act of sexual intercourse. Janet Smith refers to it in her audiotape "Contraception: Why Not?" If I’m going to make love to my husband, it seems strange to tell him I need to put my barrier in place first.

Well, NFP still seems to be the best plan for preventing pregnancy when considering complications. Cost and effectiveness are two more reasons I chose NFP. NFP is free. Yes, it is really free. All it takes is a little time and patience to learn the method. The instructors only ask for a small one-time donation. The usual amount sought is the same as the cost of one month’s prescription of the pill.

NFP is the economical choice, but that’s still not the main reason I chose it. NFP is as effective as any other birth control method. The secret to NFP is in the goals of the partners. The husband and wife must form a partnership in communication and responsibility not just in bed. Both the woman and the man must understand how to use NFP. Self-control is the hardest part of this plan. There will be times of abstinence. That can actually be good for a relationship.

The abstinence is what drives most to artificial means. That and the idea that it is ineffective because there is nothing added. Used correctly, NFP is 98 percent effective. Planned Parenthood likes to quote a failure percentage of nearly 20 percent. That is an inflated figure that includes people who do not stick with the plan and abstain when it is called for.

Another thing that leads many to artificial methods is the communication involved. It is no secret that a lot of people are having sex out of wedlock. NFP is a plan that is nearly impossible to use outside the bounds of marriage. There is a need for communication, companionship, and partnership that can only be found within marriage.

That is the best reason to choose NFP. By choosing NFP, I am saying that I will take control of my sexuality and my body. I am not turning that responsibility over to a box of pills or a piece of plastic or jelly. I am trusting myself and my husband. It also means that should I become pregnant, my husband and I will be responsible for the child who results. We will not blame the manufacturers of the pill or condom makers of the world.

Tristan Mosmeyer
July 18, 1998