Why there was no choice: A personal testimony It was more than halfway through my wife’s pregnancy, maybe sometime in January, when I shocked her concerning the topic of abortion. "You know, honey," I said. "If we believed differently, we would be very appropriate candidates for abortion." Both of us, having been born and raised Catholic, believe abortion is morally wrong, so I wasn’t surprised when Tristan looked at me incredulously. "What are you talking about?" she asked. "I’m just saying, if we didn’t think abortion was wrong, we might have considered it," I told her. She looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. I had no intention of seriously considering abortion, but I often find it necessary to enter the minds of the opposition when debating an issue. That’s what led me to bring up the subject. We were newlyweds expecting our first child, a honeymoon baby. Other than the fact we were married, we fit into a lot of categories for why women have abortions. The Ohio Right to Life organization took a look at the reasons given for abortions. The typical reasons given by pro-choice advocates – rape, incest, danger to the mother, etc. – comprise less than seven percent combined. The other reasons given included being an unmarried mother, age (being too young), school, not wanting responsibility, lack of adequate finances, and similar reasons. Tristan and I suspected that we might be pregnant for a few weeks before we found out for sure. We knew there was a chance. We had been practicing Natural Family Planning, but on our honeymoon, we decided to take a chance although the plan said we were in a fertile period. Now, both of us were worried. It didn’t seem like the right time. Tristan was in her final year of college, working toward a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry. A baby would make that difficult. I was working pretty bad hours at a local newspaper and not bringing home much money. It was enough to get by, but Tristan was working part-time. Neither of us thought we’d be able to get by if we threw a baby into the mix. Plus, before we got married, both of us said we wanted to wait for a while before having children. We wanted time to enjoy the married, childless life first. We wanted to go to movies, restaurants, clubs. We wanted to have some fun! Finally, by the standards of many, we were too young. I was in my mid-20’s, but Tristan was just 22. This didn’t come up too much, but we did hear a few people whispering about our ages. I felt a queasiness in my stomach when Tristan went into the bathroom to take the home pregnancy test. I said a silent prayer, not asking for a negative result, but for God to help me either way. Tristan laughed when she saw the little plus sign, confirming she was pregnant. She showed me, and I couldn’t help laughing either. It was truly a great feeling. All of those worries seemed so far away all of a sudden. Abortion was never a choice for us. We view it as a gross moral wrong. On top of that, abortion would have ruined our marriage. There is, to me, a great sense of romance involved in conceiving a child on a honeymoon. To decide to abort that child would have killed the romance. God works in mysterious ways. The day we found out for sure Tristan was pregnant, I started a new job with better hours, better pay, and better insurance. It was enough to let Tristan quit her job, although the pay still is not as much as we would like. Tristan’s last semester in college was difficult. She was even warned in one of her classes that there were labs she could not participate in since she was pregnant. But, her teachers were very cooperative. And so was the baby. Tristan took her last final exam on the same day we went to the hospital. She graduated cum laude. Thomas Alexander was born on May 12, 1998. He’s beautiful, everything we could want. The joy he has brought us and our families is more than I can say. It is truly beyond words. He is a blessing, pure and simple. That’s the reason there was no choice for us. Babies are blessings, not merely burdens. We weren’t sure if we were ready, but God knew. By not using contraception, we asked God to make a choice with us. By not considering abortion, we told God we liked His decision. Chris Mosmeyer |
